Brittany Bonilla
The Flame of True Love Will Never Burn Out
The term “I love you” is used every second of the day everywhere, whether it is between a mother and a daughter, father and a son, or even between a couple that feels passionately towards one another. I believe that the love we give someone is never forgotten. When kids my age are in relationships and “claim” they love someone and one second they hate and never speak to them ever again. The love in that relationship never really existed. When you love someone passionately with your heart and care for them deeply it’s difficult for you to forget them and not care for them at all. Actions speak louder than words. In a situation of anger, Its easy to say, “I hate you” to somebody you love and then love them again. Love is confusing. You are being tested with love everyday. People are complaining whether or not somebody loves them where really loves come naturally. Love cannot be forced onto someone who cannot love the person in return.
There is never a day where my parents don’t disagree on something. There was never a day where my mom wouldn’t nag on my dad for something, anything, even the smallest things in the world. And my dad, well my dad, whenever they’re out together there was never a time where my dad wouldn’t complain and grow impatient with my mom. But what I wonder is, why put up with all this dislike and drama and just get a divorce already?
My parents have been married for almost 27 years and these tiny arguments and disagreements are what keep them going. Instead of one of them leaving, they argue to solve the problem, they are willing to fight their peace in order to stay together. They have been together this long and yet nothing has convinced them enough that they don’t love each other. I remember hearing my dad scold my mom over something but before my mom went to sleep that night I recall seeing her make his lunch for tomorrow. No matter what any of them say or do to each other, it doesn’t change whatever made them fall in love with each other from the very beginning of their relationship.
Love has different ways of showing itself. Love never disappears, its simply just been MIA. “I” love you. LOVE doesn’t love, the person does. We make the decision to love someone or not and when we do it never goes away. If there’s one thing you really love about someone, something that makes you love them. It doesn’t make any sense to stop loving them when they still uphold the qualities you loved them in the beginning for. Define “love”. There is no difference from how a mother loves her child and from how a husband loves his wife. The unconditional love a mother gives her child should be as strong, powerful and as meaningful as the love we give our spouse.
I believe in true love and that it is the most powerful, beautiful, and precious gift that we could not give, but share with someone special.
Hey Brittany!! (:
ReplyDeleteI guess I'll just comment on your essay. First off, I just want to point out that you use the word "love" way to frequently. Although I understand that your essay is all about love, I feel that the word is being over used. Try rewording things a little bit. Another thing I noticed was this sentence that didnt really make sense. "If there’s one thing you really love about someone, something that makes you love them." I dont get what youre trying to say here. Maybe just reword it a little bit?
Overall, really well written essay! I enjoyed reading it, and im not just saying that just to say it.. i really mean it (: It was probably because I can relate to this essay and i believe this statement as well. Just look over your sentence structure and word choice! Good luck on your final!!
-Maddie Nguyen <3
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ReplyDeleteHello Brittany!!
ReplyDeleteVery well written essay! The overall concept and meaning of the essay as a whole is excellent.
However, just like Maddie said, there are a few sentences here and there that a need a little re-structuring. For example, "When kids my age are in relationships and “claim” they love someone and one second they hate and never speak to them ever again." It's an incomplete sentence. It should sound more like this, "When kids my age are in relationships, they "claim" that they love their significant other, but in just one second, they can hate them forever." I believe this is what you are trying to say, right?? So, just re-read and I'm sure you will be able to find your errors. :)
Also, some of your sentences are a little confusing and hard to understand. For example, "It doesn’t make any sense to stop loving them when they still uphold the qualities you loved them in the beginning for. " I don't really get what you are trying to say here.
In addition, you've over-used "love." So much that it makes your sentences sound a little too repetitive. Try rewording your sentences differently so that you wouldn't have to use the word so much. Also, combine some of your sentences so that you can lessen your use. haha Let's try one: "Love is confusing. You are being tested with love everyday. People are complaining whether or not somebody loves them where really loves come naturally. Love cannot be forced onto someone who cannot love the person in return."
You can reword it to this: "Love is confusing and people complain about it everyday. However, it comes naturally, but it cannot be forced on a one-sided love relationship." Sound good? :)
Aside from that, you did a very good job in relating your parents' experience to your essay. Well done!
Good luck on your final! ^^