I am all content in my own little box where I bottle up my deep feelings and thoughts,
I am full of various opinions both good and bad,
But I tend to express my brighter side rather than my dull and dark,
I enjoy putting smiles on people's faces while I entertain them with my humorous ways,
I can bring out the creativity in people,
Each feeling, each part, everything about me is labeled,
All with a different name,
With me, Imagination is key,
Because I am built with no eraser,
I have no regrets for my past mistakes,
Although I may seem like I am made up with joy and laughter,
If I am used to only your advantage,
I just easily break into pieces,
I am not a beautiful creature,
But an unique object,
Bright as the Sun,
Or dark as the night sky,
I am 'A Box Of Crayons'
Wow Brittany, I think you did an excellent job on your poem! You really used the characteristics of a box of crayons to describe how you, yourself, is like a box of crayon because f your emotions, actions, and feelings. Sorry, I'm not quite sure on how to comment on a poem yet, but I'll try my best to make this legit. Haha.
ReplyDeleteWell, when I first read your poem I sensed a very calm and peaceful type of feel. It's good that you don't jump from mood to mood in this poem because if you did then the audience wouldn't know the exact mood to feel therefore, they would get confused. This type of mood matches your style of writing :)
I am not quite sure about the line "I enjoy putting smiles on people's faces while I entertain them with my humorous ways". I do not clearly see how a box of crayons puts a smile on people by making them laugh. Did you mean that the variety colors fill up their spirits therefore, making them happy? Well, if you did then you should rearrange that line to make it seem like it.
"Because I am built with no eraser,
I have no regrets for my past mistakes"
I LOVE THIS PART ^^ :D nice job.
"But an unique object" <--- change "an" to "a".
Overall, excellent job.
Hey Brittany :D
ReplyDeleteOk so here i GO....
I absolutely love your metaphor. You have provided characteristics of a box of crayons that represent you.
I am not quite familiar with commenting poems, so please bare with me :D haha
The way you started off your poem drew me in.
The essence of your poem is like a roller coaster-(often used to describe life).
You first explained how you bring joy to people and then leading to how you don't have any regrets.
While reading your poem, I could picture everything you stated.I'm pretty sure you don't need any revisions.
Great Job Brittany :D
Hi Brittany,
ReplyDeleteLike your teammates, I am very impressed by your poem! You did a great job of linking each of the "crayon characteristics" with your personality! I think the video's gonna be neat!
My only recommendation is to change the "bottled up" phrase. Since your metaphor is a box of crayons, "bottled" kind of mixes your metaphors.
mrs s